This life is His. From beginning to end.

2008-07-15T06:03:00.001-07:00

The Christ vs Conformity website is here!!!!

Yay!

After the arrival of my mac, creating this website has been a piece of cake!

Check it out:

http://web.mac.com/eliorasedai

Grace and peace,

rAch

2008-07-12T14:38:00.000-07:00

It's those moments waiting when there's nothing to do that I think
Somehow I've got it all wrong
I start questioning my beliefs, my life, my choices, my existence
But that never gets me anywhere

It's those times when all is right and life becomes mundane
That I have time to talk with God
With this pile of stuff around me, the wants, the needs, the waste
It's easy to forget to listen for

His voice whispering
Are you listening
To what this could be
And all that is
Are you sure
This is what you want
No I'm not sure
Of anything anymore

Writing poetry brings me back to the intricate simplicity of life. Being creative reminds me of all the things I miss:
Walking in the woods, without worry, leaving behind cares and just being.
Floating on my back in the ocean for hours, just listening to the waves, and imagining that I live beneath the depths where the world can't find me.
Singing familiar songs around a campfire, being friends and making friends.

Writing brings those things from the past into the present, and reminds me that all those things are also in my future.

2008-06-28T09:29:00.000-07:00

Song of the Day: "Refugee" by the Psalters
Currenty Reading: "Jesus For President" by Shane Claiborne

I'm looking back at the events of last night in wonderment. It's amazing to think of what has transpired and how it could change my life.

Let me tell the whole story...

It all started Tuesday, when I thought it would be a good idea to call Courtney (I used to nanny for her, and she had e-mailed me to see if I could babysit on Friday. I had agreed, of course, even if it meant missing out on B&BS) and confirm what time she wanted me to be at her house that Friday night. She said, "Oh my gosh, I totally thought you had never confirmed it with me, so I asked our day-care person if she could do it!"
I wasn't too bummed out, cause we set a date to hang out at the zoo or the pool sometime in August.

That same day, I was online trying to remember the links from Shane's book "Irresistible Revolution" that I'd written down to remind me to visit them. I couldn't really remember them, and I ended up at a Jesus for President website that said Shane was going on a book tour!
I looked up the dates and lo and behold, he would be in D.C. on Friday night!
What providence!

Had Courtney not received my e-mail that confirmed that I could babysit for her, I would never have gone to this event, and nothing that transpired would have happened.

I called Matthias, and got Rebekah and Rachel (her friend from school) in on it, and i got directions to the place online.

We drove through the torrential rain to D.C. last night, determined that no amount of bad weather would keep us from going.

Not only did we see the authors of the book, Chris Haw and Shane Claiborne, but we also saw Brian McLaren and the Psalters (an awesome band that Lyn introduced us to)!!!

Shane and Chris read from the book, and the Psalters played in between at appropriate times.

It felt like going to church (and not just because the event was in a church).

I think that's how church should be: people coming together with a common purpose, seeking God's truth; while those with the gift of teaching read the word and expound upon it, the worship team should play applicable songs that bring the congregation closer to understanding God both in their minds and in their hearts.

instead, we have a system, and order of worship in which music that may or may not apply to the "sermon" is played at a certain time (usually before the sermon), and then a couple of songs are played at the end of the service.
It's all meaningless, and often the sermon and the songs don't really apply to people's lives.
Just reading from the word and playing music at appropriate times (this would be planned out beforehand, between the worship leader and the teacher, of course) would be more meaningful for the congregation as a whole. THat's why I like expository teaching, not topical. If you are preaching on a specific topic, then you are only being relevant to certain people who are at certain stages of life (i.e. relevant to the young, but not the old, or relevant to the married but not the unmarried, or relevant to the person struggling to forgive, but not the one who forgives easily).

Often, reading the scriptures, I begin to hear songs in my head based on what I'm reading.
As I read about Jesus dying, the song "Once Again" starts playing in my mind.
As I read about grace in the letters of Paul, I hear hymns like "Come Ye Sinners", "My Lord I Did Not Choose You", and "Free Grace".
As I read the psalms, I hear many different songs of praise such as "How Great Thou Art", "Forever", and "I Lift My Eyes Up".

For every message of the bible, a song has been written. Imagine a church meeting where there was structure with spontinaity. What if we read a passage of scripture, and then sang a song about it, and then listened as a teacher explained it in detail, and then sang another song, and then heard another passage read, and sang another song that related to it. What if we really thought about the word, sang about the word, and praised God in a relevent way?

Anyway, so after the thing (I don't even know what to call it...it wasn't a service, it wasn't a show, it wasn't a tour...it was a gathering). So after the gathering, we went to meet Shane and Chris...I bought buttons that say "an eye for an eye...leaves the whole world blind," and "God Bless Everyone". I got the Psalters Cds and had Shane and Chris sign my book and give me recommendations on which books they would recommend that I read next.

Chris wrote in my book: "May you carry the blessing of Abraham and Sarah"
and Shane wrote: "May we become the church we dream of..."

After reading about Shane in his book "Irresistable Revolution", I felt like I knew him, and it's cool to actually meet someone that you only know information about.

So we decided to walk around D.C. in search of food. We hadn't walked a block before we encountered a homeless man. I have met a lot of homeless people, and they always have this way about them--kinda loopy, always saying "God bless you, praise the Lord," etc. and smiling, they also have a certain smell that is neither good or bad. He asked for some change. At first we passed by, and then we all turned, and Rachel said, "I wanna give him something". So we opened our wallets one by one, and gave him our fives. He asked us our names, and I think he said his name was Ron. It was amazing. I think homeless people love God more than any rich person, because they understand more than anyone that God loves them despite themselves. The homeless see every day how God provides for them, sustains their lives, no matter what kind of mess they've made it.

I'm left with this feeling that my life will never be the same.
I always wondered why I never felt at home in comfort,
now I know it's because I'm called to live a life that's uncomfortably close to the homeless.
I always wondered how to use my spiritual gifts of giving, service, and hospitality,
now I know that I should use them to provide for those in need.

At this moment, I'd like to thank those whom God has used to shape me into who I am.
First, my parents, for raising me with a foundational understanding of scripture (thanks mom for the Jewish history lessons...and dad, for helping me grasp the words of Paul and other new testament writers).
And Bekah and John, for being there through it all, thank you.
Thanks Martin, for showing me that it's possible (and true) that the church could be wrong about fundamental aspects of its doctrine, and that it's okay to believe that God loves His enemies enough to spare them an eternity of punishment. Thanks for your help in teaching me how to defend my renewed mindset to skeptics.
Thanks Shane, for showing me that another way IS possible. Thank you for exemplifying a different way of life, and for sharing your story with us so that we can see that it isn't idealistic to think someone like me can give it all away to live like Jesus.
Thanks to my dear sister and brothers in Christ, Heather, Lyn and Liam Bell, for introducing me to new concepts about how to take care of our world and our bodies, and for being such an encouragement to me. Thanks for teaching me not to care what people think of me.
Thanks Roshi, for all the philosophical conversations we have had and will continue to have in an attempt to understand the world. Thanks for just being my friend.
I thank God for my childhood friends Annelise and Victoria who influenced my life greatly in my younger years.
Thanks Erin, for being such a constant friend in the years adolescents need friends the most. Our adventures will stay with me forever.
Thanks, Gbenga, for teaching me so much about life and love. Our conversations provoked my thoughts to search out deeper truths.
And everyone else who has been part of my life, thank you.
But most of all, I thank God for placing me where He did, and for bringing all of you into my life in His time and His way.
You have been treasures in jars of clay to me.

Grace, peace, and love,
rAch

2008-06-26T18:06:00.000-07:00

Song of the Day: "If God is My Father" - Larry Norman
Currently Reading: "The Irresistible Revolution"

My dad keeps warning me not to get "all caught up in that stuff." I think the idea of a new monasticism scares him somehow. I've always trusted his judgment, but something tells me he's judging this "book" by its cover instead of seeing it for what it really is.
So I am cautiously, skeptically, objectively considering Shane Claiborne's (and others') point of view. But no matter how hard I try to resist, the ideas contained in this book remain true to its title. I cannot resist this revolutionary mindset. Do you know why? Not because it's new, not because it has changed the way I see things, but because it confirms that everything I thought was wrong with the church really is wrong, and my hunch that the reason why was because no one really followed the teachings of Christ was right. All this time, I've known deep down what Shane is saying, and I've been crying out for someone to tell me how and why it is true.

It's just like when I was in CEF and I felt wrong for telling kids that they were going to suffer in Hell for all eternity if they didn't "accept" Jesus as their "personal" Savior. But as a young teenager, I didn't know who to ask, or even how to ask why. How could I go to my dad and say, "Why do Christian's believe in Hell?" Or later, when I started wrestling with the idea that a loving God could hate people so much, and I actually told my friend, "I don't think I believe that Hell is eternal. I believe it exists, but it can't possibly last forever. It is neither loving nor just for torment to be eternal in a world ruled by a loving God."
That was my statement, and I was told by that person that they were very worried about me, and that I should pray and talk to my pastor about it, blah, blah, blah.
In any case, I kept silent, not knowing who to talk to...I may have mentioned it to my sister, but I didn't even tell my parents.
Until one day, my dad came upstairs with his laptop during our family bible study of Romans, and we listened to the teachings of a guy named Martin Zender.
As I heard what he was saying, I remember squeal/yelling with delight, "What!! What is he saying???!! He's saying that Hell is not eternal!!!" and what I was thinking was, "Oh my God, I was right! But how could this be? How could the church as a whole be so deceived? What if this is just from Satan, to tickle my ears and give me what I want to hear?" But I knew, because my Spirit testified within me, that this was from God. It was a blessed evening, and so much of what I believe has changed since then.

So, just as Martin Zender confirmed my beliefs that I hadn't been able to articulate or fully understand, Shane Claiborne has also done this for me.

I haven't really been convinced by Shane's words so much as I've felt confirmed by them.

Shane talks about how most people say, "Jesus saved my life! He turned it from a mess to a beautiful thing to behold!"
And Shane salutes those people, but goes on to share that, "Jesus ruined my life."

Shane and I have a lot in common. That's one of the things I like about him. He spend his young life in Tennessee (sound familiar?), and he was well-churched and accustomed to youth group. But when Jesus really revealed who He is to Shane, it made his life a mess. See, Jesus showed Shane how to live the way He did, and religious people don't like that. Religious people never have liked Jesus, because He challenges their boxed-in way of looking at things, their stale way of living life. But Jesus is so great, religious people don't want to throw Him away all together, so they just twist His words (or just water them down) and make Him into something He's not, and only then do they snap on WWJD? bracelets.

Yes, I've been speaking against the religious spirit that the church has followed in Christ's place for years, but I've always felt like leaving the church wasn't the answer.
No, I don't feel guilty if I miss church on Sunday. But I do feel that it's important to maintain a community with other believers. I go to church to maintain a relationship with those who also seek to follow Christ. I say "seek", because most haven't quite gotten there yet (heck, I've got a long way to go), but I'm hoping that we can change each other to be more like Christ.

Honestly, I think Christians spend most of their time figuring out how to have their cake and eat it too. We wear WWJD? bracelets and red books like "So You Want To Be Like Christ?" by Charles Spurgeon, and yet we look like the rest of the world.
Andrew Peterson (a great singer/songwriter) puts it this way, "I've carried my cross through the dens of the wicked, you know I blended in just fine."
We should not look like the world. Not only that, but the world should actually hate us, not because we are killing them because we consider them to be dangerous enemies, or dare I say "terrorists", but because we challenge their systematic way of life. Jesus came to radically change the way we think, feel, and live. The true follower of Christ would refuse to conform to the patterns of this world no matter what the cost.
Early Christians who converted often left their jobs, families, and friends behind. In those days, Christians were not to be in the military, because those who served in the Roman Army were required to call Caesar "god" and "savior" of the world, a title reserved for the one True God.
Besides, Jesus taught us to practice non-violence (remember the turn your other cheek thing?). So serving in the military would have been the opposite of serving Christ. And we know that a person cannot serve both God and mammon (i.e. the things of this world).

The problem with Christians is that we want to serve God and mammon, and it just doesn't work that way. Jesus says that trying to do so will only result in loving one and despising the other. It makes me sad to think that Christians pursue God and mammon only to fall into patterns of spending more time chasing mammon than God. People think that by voting republican and giving 10% of their money to the church, and attending church once (more than once is best) a week, that they are serving God and putting Him first. But God is really just sitting on the back burner, since, when it comes down to it, most of their time is spent toiling after money, popularity, and entertainment, all of which are things of this world, not of God.

We are called to be a Kingdom that is NOT of this world.
Lest you remain unconvinced that the church isn't anything more than the pharisees risen from the dead, let me show you how the church is just like the world:

First, let's consider the priorities of worldly people:

1. Money.
2. Personal happiness/satisfaction
3. Meaningful relationships

Let's consider Jesus' top priorities:

1. Meaningful relationships
2. Suffering to preserve those relationships
3. Making more relationships

Alright, so Jesus pretty much has ONE priority, and all the others are just facets of it.
Well, of course God's priority is relationship with mankind, since He did create mankind in the first place...and what for, except to have more relationships with more people so that he could share more of His unfathomable love?

The world's pattern of living includes frequent divorce, exploitation of the poor (mostly by ignorance, but in this day and age there is really no excuse for ignorance when info is at our fingertips), materialism, debt, and addiction to twisted versions of God's creation which bring pleasure.

But Jesus shows us a pattern of living that is one of restoration, giving to the poor and the sick, living without plenty, but with simply enough, and freedom from the sins which poison our lives.

The world hates, while we are called to love.

So let's compare this to the church.
Even though Jesus' message is one of peace and restoration, the church continues to support the military. We vote to save the unborn while voting to kill those who are already alive (i'm not saying abortion is not wrong, but I believe any killing is wrong, whether it's sending poison into a
fetus or sending troops to war).

Even though Jesus tells us to give what we have to the poor, to reach out to the sinners and the needy, to invite them into our homes, we surround ourselves with only those who are like us: rich (or middle-classed) church attenders who give 10% and keep the rest for themselves.
Jesus said, "The poor will always be among you." But where are the poor among us? Exactly.
They're not among us, because we've barb-wired them outside.

Even though Jesus has called us to love not just those who love us, but also our enemies, we continue to gossip and to act hatefully towards those who offend us.

Do you have more than one coat? Then you have stolen from a person in the world who has none.
Do you throw away half of your food? Then you have starved one of the least of these.
This might seem a little extreme, and it's not as if you can take all your coats and just give them away (well, you could), or give your food to people who need it. But what about inviting a homeless person to dinner? Are you afraid that he will rob you or hurt you? Jesus said "fear not, I have overcome the world." There's nothing on this earth that we should be afraid of. If Jesus said, "feed the hungry," then do you not believe He will protect us when we obey Him?
People say to me, "Don't be so reckless. You're not being wise."
But I say, "The wisdom of the world is folly in the kingdom of God."
It's an upside-down kingdom; it's a place where believers who work in a clinic run out of all medicine to give to the sick except Pepto-Bismal and give it to people by tablespoons, marveling at the power of God as He heals every one of them and sustains the bottle of pink liquid until all are restored (true story, read Shane's book for details).
It's a world where a man who gives his paycheck away every month never runs out of gas for an entire year (true story, call Heather for details).
It's a world where a burglar comes in, points a gun at you, and as you begin to pray aloud for him, he turns and walks away (true story).
It's a world where believers see miracles happen, and unbelievers sit at home or at church, wondering why God never shows His power any more.
The fact is, folks, God is not hiding from us, we are hiding from Him.
While we could be living in His amazing Kingdom, we choose to remain in the kingdom of this world.

I don't know about you, but I have grown increasingly uncomfortable with living in comfort.
C'mon, break off the chains, read the words of Jesus without those foggy lenses on, and start giving yourself over to Him.

He's already saved you, might as well let Him ruin your life.

Grace and peace,
rAch

2008-06-24T15:18:00.000-07:00

You have to see this video. If it doesn't bother you to the point where you change the way you live, then I don't know what will.

http://www.storyofstuff.com/

Grace and peace,
rAch

2008-06-21T19:37:00.000-07:00

Quote of the Day: "Be the change you want to see in the world." -Gandhi
Song of the Day: "Cry in My Heart" - Starfield

Note: This blog is kind of a continuation of June 14, so if you are new, please read that one first. =)

This morning over breakfast I decided to begin reading "The Irresistible Revolution" by Shaine Claiborne, since I now leave his book "Jesus for President" (which I am currently reading) in my car so I can read it when I have pockets of time to do so.

I couldn't get halfway through the introduction without stopping to wipe away the tears that blurred my vision as I read.
Reading his words was like hearing a song that relates to my life so acutely that I feel as though the singer wrote it for me, or that I could have written it.
It was like a breeze upon my face that takes me back to when I was a child and reminds me of who I really am.
But most of all, it was the feeling that I get when I've lost something, only I lost it so long ago that I've forgotten that it is lost; and then finding it, by some strange providence, and remembering how I loved it so, and wondering why I let it stay lost for so long, and asking why I let myself forget.

Let me share some of the words in the introduction to Shaine's book (no, I haven't gotten past the introduction yet):

"There is a movement bubbling up that goes beyond cynicism and celebrates a new way of living, a generation that stops complaining about the church it sees and becomes the church it dreams of," (pg. 24).

To understand why I am so moved by Shaine's words, you must understand a bit of my history...

I grew up in the church. When I was younger (around ten- to 12-years-old), I naively read about Jesus and took Him seriously. When He said, "Follow Me," I heard, "Be like Me." Period.
But I soon "learned" under the churches' teaching that actually being like Jesus was unpractical, unrealistic, etc.
And who was I to argue with such a philosophy? After all, these people had been Christians a lot longer than I had. They had to know what they were talking about. Instead of teaching me to be like my Rabbi and showing me how to imitate Him, they gave me other ways to "be like Jesus", such as:
tithing ten percent, going to church regularly, reading my bible every day, and wearing a cross around my neck.
As I grew older, I realized (thank the Lord) that none of those things have anything to do with following Christ. After all, Jesus never had anything to put in the offering plate--as far as we know, He paid taxes by taking a coin from the mouth of a fish--and there are only three records of Jesus ever setting foot in the equivalent of a church--and when He did, He made people angry.
As for reading the bible every day, well, Jesus probably had the whole thing memorized since Hebrew boys were required to memorize at least the first 5 books, if not the whole Tanakh. Jesus spent time alone with God, but He didn't carry a scroll with Him.
When Jesus died, He bore the cross with more love than we could ever fathom, and yet we wear a piece of silver or gold around our necks as we walk away from our cross instead of carrying it like Jesus taught us to.

In my early teenaged years, I believed that I could be like Jesus by obeying the great commission and becoming a missionary. I began in my own town, with a group called Child Evangelism Fellowship (CEF). I spent my summer teaching bible lessons to kids in various homes on the island of Oahu, HI. I made a few converts, but unfortunately, I made no disciples.
This was not what Jesus had in mind when He sent us out into all the world.
He said, "Make disciples," and instead I told kids that unless they accepted Jesus as their Savior, God, who is just, would have no choice but to send them to a place called Hell for all eternity.

Thanks be to God, the Author of all creation and the provider of salvation to all that He has made for delivering me from those lies! May He continue to set the church free from the doctrines of man, which twist and corrupt the gospel into nothing more than an empty threat.

I hate what has happened to the church, and yet, I'm still in love with her.
I walk into church buildings and understand the devotion behind what has kept them standing.
I sing hymns and praise songs, and as my voice joins the others, I hear one voice, praising God.
Because of the church, have heard the scriptures read in many times and many ways, over and over, until the scripture permeates my being and I cannot think except in the context of the truth learned from it.

I have just as much to censure the church about as unbelievers do, yet I live with the hope that things will change. Brian McLaren says things MUST change.

I see the church as a people deceived for so long that they don't even know how to distinguish truth from lies anymore. And they're too comfortable in their own ways, homes, and lives, to even think about learning something new, considering that they might have been wrong all this time.

They are sheep, lead astray by the Deceiver, following the crowd.

But I'm also a lamb, and maybe if ordinary radicals like me began to jump off a cliff into the great unknown to be like Jesus in a real way, one by one, the rest would follow.

My heart has always known there is a better way. A way to live that defies the system, resists conformity, and "spreads love like violence" (borrowed from lyrics of Angels and Airwaves).
So instead of complaining about the church, I'm going to start changing it one disciple at a time.

Grace and peace,
rAch

2008-06-16T20:10:00.000-07:00

Quote of the day: "You love because I first loved you." - Jesus

Listening to Dallas Willard, professor of Philosophy of some college in California, I took in some very amazing things.
He reminds me of Tim Keller. Very good, poignant teacher. He says things that are fundamentally true, that one already probably knows, in a new, profound way that hits you hard and stirs your heart.

Profoundly enough, I have come to realize that people really have no control over their lives. Things happen, without our knowledge or will. We do the things we don't want to do and don't do the things we want to do. So the only thing one can control is his/her mind.

Milton put it this way: "The mind is a place of its own. In it, one can make a heaven of hell [and/or] a hell of heaven."

One of my favorite proverbs (which is hanging on my wall...the beautiful wood-work was a gift from friends) is, "Guard thy heart above all things, for out of it come the issues of life," Prov. 4:23. Another version reads, "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life."

For a long time, the meaning of this verse eluded me, kept me puzzling and questioning.
But suddenly, it came to me: Humans always act on their highest inclination at any given time, within the realm of their ability. In other words, if I am highly inclined to eat chocolate on a particular day, but have none in the house, I will most likely do whatever it takes (drive to the store and buy some) to get chocolate, unless there is a good reason to refrain (i.e. not enough money, etc.).
But what controls my desires? Doesn't desire reside in the heart?
So the verse could possibly read,
"Most importantly, guard your desires, for they determine the issues you will face in life."

Now, to take this further, according to scripture, man is born in sin. Genesis 6:5 says that every inclination of the heart of man [was/is] only evil all the time.
In other words, in default mode, people desire evil above all else. This evil can be practiced by any means from eating junk food every day (i.e. not taking care of the body we have been blessed with) to taking the life of a fellow human being.
All in all, our desires are corrupt.

Legalism aims to change the behaviors of people. Just like many of the hypocritical pharisees had white-washed tombs with death and decay hidden inside, many people that fill churches today do all the right things, and yet still desire evil and are unable to control it. Their desires remain corrupted, while their [seemingly] good actions try to hide their own sinfulness.

What we are left with is hypocritical Christians whom nobody respects (in or out of church circles), and broken hearted people, hurting and enslaved to rules and regulations they can't keep.

Legalism ties people to the law, which only encourages the sinful nature (which Paul points out in Romans 7-8).
But Jesus did not come to establish a religion, He came to set people free. How?
That question can be answered in one word: Love.

Think about it:
Our desires control our actions.
By trying to keep the law, we are trying to control our actions.
But we are unable to do so, because our desires have remained unchanged.
Why? Because instead of it being about what we want, we believe it's about what we do.

Dr. Willard talked about ethics and virtues, and how at the heart of virtuousness lies love.
Every virtue can only be truly carried out in love.
If a person does something good only for his/her own gain, and not out of pure love, then it is meaningless, and no longer a virtue.

This is the poison of sin: Human beings are incapable of doing/being good, because our desires are completely corrupted so that we are unable to truly love others.

But that's not the end of the story. It's not hopeless. This is what Jesus came for.
The popular (though it is becoming less and less so, thanks be to God) teaching that says Christ came simply to save those who choose to believe it from being punished for our sinfulness via an eternal, painful prison of flames, just isn't true.

Jesus didn't come to save us from Hell, He came to save us from ourselves.

You see, I am not able to love a person (not even my own child--I actually don't have a child, for those of you who are unaware--for even that love is corrupted, since I only love him/her because he/she is the only thing I will leave behind in this world when I leave...even animals "love" their offspring). Why? My desires, my nature is completely evil. And love is good, and good is the opposite of evil, which means that to truly love someone would be against my nature, against my desire.

However, if I knew that I was completely and utterly loved, not because of what I do, but despite what I do; not because I'm a good person, but in spite of the fact that I'm a bad person, only then can I love others.

Jesus put it this way, "You love because I first loved you."

Without the knowledge of His love, we cannot love.

And without love, we cannot do good or be virtuous, because we will continue to act on our desires, which are captive to sin.

Christ's love sets us free from sin!
We hear this, but don't understand what it really means.
It sets us free because it actually transforms our desires from evil to good.

Only when you understand how much God loves you will you begin to actually want to do good.
And only when you desire to do good are you able to do good.

Paul said, "God showed His great love for us in this: that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us," (romans 5:8)

We are called to believe in what Christ did for us not to save ourselves from punishment; we are called to believe because only when we believe in His love for us can His love (i.e. the Spirit of God) transform our desires.
After all, if we don't believe we are loved, how can we love others?

This is the good news, my friends.

Enough. my back is aching, and my eyes are getting sore.

Grace and Peace,
rAch

2008-06-14T11:40:00.000-07:00

Today: Is a slow day at work, and I am enjoying peace and quiet.
Verse of the day:
“My people will beat their weapons into plows...and study violence no more” (from Isaiah 2:4 and Micah 4:3)
Song of the day: "Oh Jerusalem" by Lauryn Hill
Currently Reading: "Jesus for President", "The Irrisistable Revolution", "UnChristian", "Free of Charge", and a pile of other books that I probably won't open again until I'm finished with the ones listed.

If you don't really care about human suffering, if you would rather just be left alone, if you could care less about getting to know the creator of the universe, then this message is not for you.
But if you have a longing in your heart to know God, not just to know about Him, if your heart breaks for those who suffer, and longs to belong to a loving community of people who unconditionally love you by holding you accountable without being judgemental, then read on.

I've been reading Shaine Claiborne's "Jesus for President"--actually, "drinking it in" would be a better way of describing it. It's like, all my life, I've known that following Christ is not about going to church. In fact, there have been times when going to church would have been the opposite of being Jesus' disciple. I've spent so much time pointing out the things "Christians" have gotten wrong, and seeing ways the church has missed the point. I know what being a Christian isn't, but up until this point, I've had no idea what following Christ really is.

A few years ago, God whispered in my ear and shouted in my heart of His love, which is beyond comprehension. People spend so much of their time, money, and energy studying war, learning how to win, how to gain and keep power, etc., and we all forget to study the one thing we were made for: love. So I began to study love, to try my hardest to pursue it.

This past spring, God started stirring my heart in Sociology class as I read about injustice, poverty, globalization, and war with a whole new perspective. I started asking myself questions like, "What if people actually lived the way Jesus taught? Would injustice even be possible?
What if Christians really cared about their neighbors, would drive-by shootings still happen? What if Christians saw every person as a creation deeply loved by God, would we be able to condemn those with a different point of view to eternal torment?
What if communities of Believers, living in the same neighborhood, didn't drive 20 minutes away to 50 different churches to meet with people they only see once a week to worship a God they don't understand?
What if Christian neighbors got together weekly and shared their lives with each other on a personal level, as a community, providing for each other's needs, praying for one another, actually relating to and caring for each other?
Would the world be different?"

And just above the voices that say things like: "But these are naiive questions, Rachel, we live in a fallen world where unconditional love just can't exist. You know that every human is fallen and cannot be perfect, nor can we truly love one another. So we have to carry on in the way we always have, unwillingly conforming to the patterns of this world, because it is foolish and childish to dream of any other way to live,"

I hear the voices of people like Rob Bell, Shaine Claiborne, Dan Kimbrough, and Brian McLaren, all saying, "Another way of life is possible. It really is possible to follow Christ, to be like Christ in this day and age. No matter how people scoff, practicing the love of God is a viable way to live."

Read about the movement: http://www.thesimpleway.org/

Grace and Peace to all.

rAch

2008-04-24T16:55:00.001-07:00

Seriously, check it out. If you get this, you'll never look at the universe the same again.

2008-04-08T09:08:00.000-07:00

This article that I ran across is just too good to keep to myself. I'm actually going to do something I've never done before: type up the article word-for-word so that you can read it for yourself rather than reading my comments about it without having read the actual article.
Just as a short intro, though: This is a subject that most people probably don't consider. As Christians, we're brought up believing that Jesus came to pay for our sins so that we wouldn't have to. He took all of God's wrath upon Himself. So my question lately has been, "If God's wrath has been satisfied, how come the bible talks of wrath to come? (i.e. Revelation, etc.)" It just doesn't match up. But I was asking a question that has its root in another more fundamental question: What exactly did Christ accomplish on the cross and in His resurrection?What was it all about? What did that DO to the universe and to humanity?
The technical term for what Christ did on the cross is: "the nature of the atonement". Many of you have probably heard this term and are familiar with different opinions on the nature of the atonement. When a person asks, "what is the nature of the atonement?" Much of the answer is actually in the question, since the word "atonement" means "At-one-ment", or making something one, or reconciled.

So without further ado:

"Where is it Written? Understanding the Cross and the Church's Ministry of Love"
by Michelle Clifton-Soderstrom

"Perhaps the most well-known [Evangelical] Covenant adage is Paul Peter Waldenstrom's question, "Where is it written?" The question has served as the criteria for doctrine in the Covenant Church and originally emerged as a response to the comment, 'How wonderful it is that God is reconciled!'

"At face value, this comment seems innocuous--too cursory to raise flags or warrent much response. Furthermore, the theology behind the statement was acceptable, representing the idea that Jesus's death appeased an angry God. Popular still today, this view--called penal substitution--suggests that humans have accrued a debt of sin so immense that only God Himself can pay it. So, God sends Jesus Christ who serves our sentence for crimes against God and humanity, substituting His own death on the cross for a death that was rightly ours.

"While it was common parlance for both clergy and laity to speak of an angry God as being reconciled through Christ's death, Waldenstrom (1838-1917) was not convinced of the scriptural basis for this view of atonement. Originally referring to "at-one-ment," the doctrine of atonement is that area of theology that talks about restoring broken relationships with God. Theologies of the atonement ask such questions as: How is reconciliation with God achieved? How does God's saving action in Christ restore us to covenant relationship? How does God work in Christ to save sinners? Amidst these questions, the doctrine of the atonement seeks to understand the cross and death of Christ in light of a good Father, a sinless Son, and the church's ministry of love.

"As a pastor and scholar, Waldenstrom was not persuaded that hte penal substitution view answered such questions in a way that represented God, Jesus Christ, and humanity as revealed in Scripture. As a result, he launched a two-year Bible study that left us with not only a good denominational slogan [i.e. "Where is it written?" is the motto of the Evangelical Covenant Church] but a biblical account of the atonement that Covenanters continue to hold dear.

"At the time Waldenstrom took up his study of scripture, two important influences were in play: the renewal movements and the view of penal substitution. The renewal movements in Sweden (which eventually gave birth to the Covenant Church) experienced their faith in terms of a heavenly Father who was moved by love and who would do all that was necessary to reconcile Himself and humanity. The story of the prodigal son was a cherished text, and these movements emphasized the Father, not the Son, as the central character in the story.

"The faith experience of these groups set the stage for Waldenstrom to question the view of penal substitution, which assumes that humans owe a debt for their sin. Because we are incapable of paying such a debt, we are charged with a crime punishable by death and Jesus Christ takes our place from there. Waldenstrom considered the idea that God needed to be repaid or appeased a heathen one because it not only painted a picture of God as cruel, it also was articulated in terms of human legal systems. Most importantly, Waldenstrom thought the view of penal substitution was absent from the biblical account, so he took up a study of Scripture.

"Waldenstrom summed up his study of the atonement in the following five theses:
1) The fall of humanity into sin occasioned no change in the disposition of God.
2) It was neither God's wrath nor vindictiveness toward us after the fall that blocked the way of salvation
3) The change brough about by our fall into sin occurred only in humanity, in the sense that we became sinful and therefore separated from God.
4) We therefore needed reconciliation but not for the purpose of appeasing God's wrath in order to render God merciful; rather to blot out and take away our sin so as to render us righteous again.
5) Jesus Christ accomplished this reconciliation

"From Waldenstrom's study of Scripture, two distinctive emphases emerged:
1) the atonement is to blot out sin, or to sanctify sinners from their sins, and
2) the atonement is the reconciliation of sinners to God.

"First, Scripture teaches that Christ's death was an atoning sacrifice. Nowhere, according to Waldenstrom, does Scripture say that God's justice demands punishment for sin to be forgiven. In fact, payment at all for the debt of sin is foreign to Scripture. The debt of sin can be forgiven, but it cannot be repaid. Further, the idea that Christ had to be punished for us, in our stead, had no biblical basis, according to Waldenstrom. Sacrifice, as it was practiced in the Old Testament, had both the function of expressing gratitude and for reconciliation.

"In terms of reconciliation, the Old Testament makes clear that it is the blood, or source of life, that effects atonement rather than the actual death of the sacrificed animal. In fact, on the Day of Atonement, the laying on of hands as an act of confession occurred not on the animal that was to be killed, but on the goat that was to be kept alive (Lev. 16:20-23). The live goat bears on itself all the sins of the people of Israel and is in the end set free in the wilderness. Importantly, Waldenstrom notes that the atoning work is not explicitly linked to the suffering and death but to the life that the blood represents.

"In the New Testament, Christ's atoning sacrifice takes the character of the priestly office. The blood of Jesus as High Priest, as John 1 says, cleanses and purifies us from all sin. Hebrews 9-10 brings us further into the priestly reality of the blood of Christ, for it is Christ's blood--in contrast to that of goats and bulls--that cleanses us. This perfect sacrificial blood--which has the power to forgive--is offered by Christ Himself. The writer of Hebrews thus declares, "How much more will the blood of Christ, who through the eternal Spirit offered Himself without blemish to God, purify our conscience from the dead works to worship the living God!" (Hebrews 9:14). For this reason, it follows that Christ is the mediator of the new covenant, and the shedding of His blood serves not as payment for our debt but rather as the forgiveness of our sins.

"The atoning sacrifice of Christ leads to Waldenstrom's second emphasis, namely that the work of Christ reconciles humanity to God and not vice-versa. Waldenstrom rejected any notion that God's wrath was appeased in the death of Christ, and, further, that Jesus was a substitution who stood in as a shield against God or "a lightning rod for His wrath." Waldenstrom's study of Scripture concluded that no change took place in God's disposition and, therefore, that humanity, not God, was reconciled through Christ's death on the cross.

"The striking element in this conclusion is the depth of God's love for humanity. Such a love is neither improved or diminished because it is already perfect. First John 3:16 says that we know God's love because Jesus laid down His life for us. we are able to percieve the depth of God's love because Christ's death reconciles us--it changes us so that we may receive it, precisely through the power and depth of God's forgiving love. Such a love does not need to be restored because it was never lost, and this is great cause for celebration.

"Waldenstrom's vision of God was not only scriptural; it also found its way into the hearts and faith of the early revival of the Covenant. His study showed a God who directs His love toward restoring sinners to a state in which they can perceive and receive the gift of God's love. It reveals a God intent on bringing sinners back to Himself and a story that works to transform people of faith. Waldenstrom exclaims, 'Oh! How dear and precious to your heart you will find God to be when you thus behold Him in Christ. Because in Christ you have the true manifestation of Him.'

"Jesus' ministry was not a message of punishment and wrath; rather, His message was one of friendship and love. If we are to understand God's atoning work within the priestly office of Christ, it radically shifts the understanding of the cross as punishment to an understanding of the cross as a gift to the sinner that shows God's love for us in spite of sin. The cross as a gift just might allow us to see the pain and death around us without completely turning inward--without destroying ourselves in the process. And it is precisely this--the strength to look around and find Christ in our suffering brothers and sisters--that empowers us to participate in Christ's mission on earth. Waldenstrom reminds us that the highest aim of all that the church says and does is the glorification of Christ. This should both relieve us and excite us."

note: I left out the last paragraph which just relates Waldenstrom's work to the current Evangelical Covenant Church, which is less important than the actual doctrine preached by Waldenstrom, which I wanted to make known to you.

My comments:
At first, my thought was that there is such a subtle difference between the doctrine of penal substitution and Waldenstrom's view of atonement that it hardly mattered which one you believe. But though it may be a subtle difference, it changes everything about every other doctrine that the church holds dear. For one thing, I love the line, "Such a love does not need to be restored because it was never lost..." since it gets at the heart of it all. God never stopped loving humanity, even when we fell.
Also, I dare anyone to find a church where penal substitution is preached that is not legalistic. Every church I have ever been a part of that upheld this doctrine has been full of legalistic people. Why? Because the idea of penal substitution is based on the idea that we must appease God. And even though they technically believe that Jesus was our substitute, they still believe that every time they sin, God becomes angry/frustrated with them. So they live bound to rules and regulations, and forget that it was, "for freedom that Christ has set [us] free!" (the words of Paul).
The enemy really has the church wound up, doesn't he? After all, what better way to corrupt the gospel than to change it in such a way that it seems to match up with scripture, but actually doesn't? This doesn't mean the gospel becomes null and void because it is preached incorrectly, it just means that people aren't going to understand it properly, and therefore, they won't understand God properly. If you don't understand WHAT God did, you can't understand WHY, which means you can't understand WHO He is.

Jesus said, "Love your enemies and bless those who curse you," and yet, those who view the atonement as a penal substitution are forced to believe that God Himself does not "practice what He preaches," since He doesn't love His enemies, but rather takes revenge/justice (whichever term you prefer) on them by sending them to a place of eternal conscious torment AKA Hell.
Even though the idea that we must pay for our sins is more Catholic than scriptural, most Christians still believe that if a person doesn't believe in Jesus, then His work on the cross doesn't count for them, and they must pay for their own sins. How a lifetime of sinning equals an eternity of punishment, I don't know, I guess you have to believe that I am more merciful than God, because I would never torment my worst enemy for all of eternity. Perhaps I'd punish them long enough to pay off the debt they owe me, but more than that would be cruelty and hatred. Am I more loving than God? By no means!

The Gospel preached today is this:
"Repent and believe in Jesus Christ, and you will be saved!
and be baptised and prove that you have the Holy Spirit by speaking in tongues. And join the church to keep from forsaking the fellowship of believers, and don't hang out with non-Christians so you won't backslide. If you don't believe in Jesus (and do all these things--depending on which denomination you are evangelizing for) you will suffer for all eternity in a terrible place called Hell!"

The true Gospel:
"Repent and belive, for you have been reconciled to God by Jesus Christ, His Son!"

The Gospel preached today: "God did it. I believe it. That settles it."
The true Gospel: "God did it. That settles it--whether you believe it or not."

2008-02-23T05:09:00.001-08:00

This is how I choose to live.
I was listening to one of my favorite Relient K songs called "Death and Taxes", when I found myself re-discovering the meaning of the song, and realizing just how much I could relate.
The chorus is:

"This is how I choose to live
As if I'm jumping off a cliff
Knowing that You'll save me. Knowing that You'll save me.
And after all the stupid things I did,
There's nothing left there to forgive,
Cause You already forgave me. You already forgave me.

...never forget: there's life after death.
And taxes...
Forgiveness comes...
And all of the rest
is what passes
away...
death and decay can't touch us now."

The reason I say I can relate is that I do live my life as though I'm jumping off a cliff--taking risks that others might deem foolish, living to the fullest, chasing my dreams (no matter how unlikely they may seem), and facing tomorrow without worry or fear. Why? Am I without wisdom? Am I reckless? No and no. I just realize who is in control--and it's not me. God is not my co-pilot. He is the Creator, the Potter. Why do we insist on calling Him "Lord" when we really believe that we are in control of our own lives. People say this is pessimistic, fatalistic, whatever-istic. But the fact is, I am an optimist. I know that no matter what is happening, God is in control. So whatever is going on must be good (ultimitely), even if it seems bad. See, if I am in charge, then I can never be sure if I'm doing the right thing. But when I realize that it's all in His hands, I don't have to worry about messing up--I mean, in what universe could a mere human being ruin God's plan? That is encouraging news! It means: "fear not, friends, for the God of our Salvation is carrying out a plan, and you don't have to worry about every wrong move you will make, because no matter how hard you try, you will never out-sin God's grace or destroy His ultimate plan."

What brought all this up?
In Psychology, we have been disussing External and Internal locuses. Basically, there are two kinds of people in the world: Externalists and Internalists. Externalists attribute circumstances and outcomes to a Higher Power, while Internalists credit those things to themselves (or people in general). I was bothered by the way my psych. book describes Externalists as negative, pessimistic, etc. because I consider myself to be an Externalist, and I am none of those things. Internalists generally give credit to the will of man, which is something I can't honestly do, since I know Who holds the hearts of men.
I think those Externalists who give credit to luck or fate might be rather pessimistic, because those forces are proven to be neither good nor loving.
My view as an Externalist is based on the truth that a loving, good, just, and merciful God is in control of the universe (and our lives are certainly part of the universe), which leads me to be optimistic and successful. Optimistic because I trust Him to make all things good, so I can always wear a smile in any circumstance, knowing that it is for a purpose. Successful because I take risks that others might be too cautious to take, and I am unafraid of new and uncertain situations, since I know that God holds all my circumstances in His hands.

So this is how I choose to live:
"As if I'm jumping off a cliff...Knowing that [He'll] save me...
After all those stupid things I did, there's nothing left there to forgive...
Cause [He] already forgave me...[He] already forgave me."

_________________________________________________________________
In case someone is led to believe that I am convinced of this truth by a song, I have included the scriptures which shaped my Externalist view. This song merely confirms the belief that I already held.

Ex. 4:21
Deut. 29:4
Is. 29:16 ; 64:8
1 Samuel 10:9, 26
Romans 8:28; 9:21
Eph. 2:8, 10
1 Peter 2:8

2006-11-08T15:14:00.000-08:00

I'm a happy person. People describe me as cheerful, happy, joyful, patient, nice, reserved, motivated. I don't always have a smile on my face, but generally, if I'm not happy, i'm content. One thing I discovered about myself during my summer with Child Evangelism Fellowship (CEF)that I never would have thought was true is that I'm a patient person. I'm a good listener, and my ideal profession is teaching. Although I'm excitable, it's only in a good way; generally, I am laid-back, trusting that "everything will work out in the end somehow". Some poeple might think that I have an almost unhealthy carefree attitude, but I just find it natural to trust God; it's a gift He's given me...something He's taught me to do. I'll admit that every once in a while, I feel that I can handle things, and try to survive on my own, "do it myself", but He always shows me how much better it is just to let it go, and trust it to His care (1 Peter 5:7).

How would we know good without first knowing evil?

How would we understand perfection without first understanding imperfection?

What words could we possibly use to describe "cold" to someone who was born and raised in a never-under-70-degrees climate?

Contrast is something God uses to reveal Himself to us. It is no accident that God called that tree "The Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil". When Adam and Eve ate of the tree, they KNEW what sin was, they KNEW what it meant to make a mistake...and only when they knew the evil could they know God for who He really is. I believe God wants to be known. He doesn't NEED to be known, the way that we as humans do; but He wants it. I believe that's why He created humans in the first place; He created us to know Him, to love Him. God knows who He is, and He knows what anything other than He is. But if Adam and Eve had never known sin and evil, how could they have truly known God? They couldn't have. The word "good" would have no meaning to them. So God purposed to create the means by which sin would enter the world, to show us what evil, sin, and suffering are. Now that we know this, now we can know Him. And how would we have ever known how much He loves us, if He hadn't proven it by sending His Son to die for us? "There is no greater love than this..." He showed us in a way we would understand. And now we know Him and are getting to know Him more every day. Relax and rejoice; God is in control!

2006-10-17T17:57:00.000-07:00

As I grow and become more unsheltered (I grew up in a Christian home, and was homeschooled most of my life up til now), I realize that there are so many differing opinions. I'm seeing that just saying I'm a Christian says nothing about me at all except that I have some understanding of the life of Jesus and the existence of God, and that means something to me. But it says absolutely nothing about who I am. The other day I talked to a guy who believes God created all things over a period of millions of years through the process of evolution! He believes in Christ, he says, but he's not sure that the bible should be taken completely literally, so maybe Jesus wasn't actually the Son of God. I even prefer not to be called a Christian. The early church never actually called themselves "christians" that we know of. King Agrippa called Paul a "Christian" when he asked, "Do you wish to convert me to become a Christian?" But Paul said simply, "I wish you were as I am, but for these chains." He didn't say "christian". That was the term that outsiders used to call the strange sect that had come out of Jerusalem as a result of the "supposed" resurrection of Jesus of Nazereth. The best term, in my mind, is "follower of Christ". People say that the word "Christian" means that, but i'm not so sure. People call themselves Christians all the time, but are they following Christ? Far from it!
Sometimes, many times, I regret to say, I have seen born-again Christians turn from following Christ in certain areas. I have seen unforgiveness and hatred, jealousy and deceit, harbored bitterness and unkindness. Don't get me wrong, just cause someone isn't perfect doesn't mean they aren't following Christ. But in some way or another, we all turn from following christ every day. It is when you step back and look at our actions as a whole, from year to year, that we see many following Christ generally, just not perfectly. For we are not required to follow Him perfectly. Peter even denied Him, but Christ chose Him to share the gospel with the Jews, "Feed My lambs," He told him. So instead of saying, "I'm a Christian," here is my unofficial statement of faith. BTW, please feel free to comment on my statements of faith, since some of them are much different from what you would see in churches all across the nation, no matter what the denomination.

1. I believe that a Being exists, Who has always been and always will be. He created the universe and everything in it for a purpose which is beyond human understanding. He is named Elohim, Jehovah, and more commonly, God. King of the Universe, He holds all things together by His power and every other authority comes under His authority.

2. I believe that God created Jesus before time was, before the earth was formed. Through Jesus, God created the earth, and it is in Jesus' image that humans were made. Jesus is not literally one with God the Father, for they are two seperate persons. But they are so wholly the same in will and love that they might as well be the same being. After all, Jesus proceeds from the Father.

3. I believe in predestination. But I am not a Calvinist. Before there was time, God created this plan, a plan that has never changed. There was never a plan A and a plan B; only one plan existed. The purpose of this plan is not shown clearly to us in scripture, but God gives us sufficient information to help us see His character and puzzle out His plan. It would take ages upon ages to come close to almost understanding His plan and purpose in Creation, the Fall, and the Death and Resurrection of Jesus.

4. I believe in the calling of the elect, the salvation of the chosen and the punishment of the unchosen. God makes "some for honorable use and some for dishonorable use". In God's plan, there are no accidents. People have brains, people have wills. But whether or not that will is really free depends on your definition of "free". For God's will ultimately over-arches human will, so that whatever man's choices, they always fall into His pre-ordained plan. No matter what we choose, the same outcome will occur, for He has predestined it perfectly. Our wills are free to the extent that right now I am free to choose to keep typing or get off the computer and go to sleep. Or I could choose to go to a different website, or read a book, or watch TV, or eat some ice-cream. All of these choices are available to me, and I choose moment by moment which I will do (right now, I'm choosing to stay on the computer). This is my choice. Predestination does NOT mean that God programs "17 October, 2006, 21:14 - Rachel stays on the computer to type her statement of faith on Blogger.com" into His master plan and it comes to pass as if I have no choice. The truth is, God's plan is so big that whatever I choose to do, He has already chosen it. Just as if I always choose to do what God wants me to do. It's hard to grasp this, because God is outside of time. Everything is finished for Him, and still only beginning. He isn't bound like we are. Moment by moment, we make choices by our own free will. But those choices are part of His plan. In some perspective, that means our will isn't truly free the way God's will is, since a will still supercedes ours, while NO will supercedes God's. Nothing happens without His say-so.

5. I believe that the bible is to be taken both literally and metaphorically. It is of utmost importance to take the bible as a whole and see it in context before breaking it up into pieces. What divides Christians today is nothing more than different interpretations of the same words. It all seems so much bigger than that, but it's really not. When one neglects to look at the whole of scripture all together, in one large context, all the little things start seeming to contradict one another, and different interpretations seem necessary in order to make sense of it. God doesn't need us to makes sense of His words. They already make sense, we just don't read them right. We already assume to know what context in which to put His words. But it is important to remember that in the bible, God is conveying something that cannot be truly conveyed. Our miniscule brains could never grasp all of what He is telling us.

6. I believe that all scripture is breathed out by God and profitable. The point of scripture is for God to communicate with us. He has sent us a message. This message is meant to be understood. He would not have sent it if He didn't want us to understand it. Who sends a letter written in English to a Chinese guy who doesn't read, write, or speak English? The sender will only be dissapointed, since the Chinese guy won 't understand the message. God put Himself into human terms. But God cannot be wholly defined in human terms, so there's a lot still missing. He gave us enough, though. Exactly enough, no more, no less.

7. I believe that when we die, we stop living on the earth, and begin to sleep, or maybe to dream, the bible doesn't say. We are not conscious of this sleep, for just as when you fall asleep at night and immediately when you wake it is morning, when in reality, 7 hours has gone by, when we die, we go into a sleep from which we seem to wake immediately, not realizing how many years have passed. Once we stop living in our bodies, we exit the realm of time.

8. I believe in the resurrection. We dont' stay sleeping, but awake, for on the "last day" as the bible calls it, every human who has died will be raised to the judgement. What the judgement will be like exactly, the bible doesn't clearly say. But it can be seen that those who are born again (those covered by the sacrifice of Jesus by faith in His work on the cross and His resurrection) will reign and live and rejoice with God in His Kingdom (commonly called heaven), while those who have done evil (everyone except those justified by faith in Christ) will be cast out into punishment. Refiner's fire, in which that which was filthy becomes clean through painful means. This punishment is not expounded upon, though it is referred to as "Gehenna" by Jesus, which was a valley used/known as a trash dump in Israel. The word used to describe the length of time this torment, this knashing of teeth in regret, will last is "Ion", which literally means, "age" or "unknown period of time". Taking God's merciful and loving character into account, I do not believe in an eternal hell. God's good and perfect plan could not include eternal torment for people who did not place their faith in Jesus and give their lives to God. There is severe discipline for those who have turned from Christ and continued in sin on Earth, but it is by no means everlasting, and the purpose of it is to restore them to a right relationship with God by removing their sin nature (through fire).

9. I believe in Satan and demons. They have been given a certain amount of power on earth, perhaps to possess humans and scare them. Satan certainly tempts the children of God, but it is clear from scripture that he is powerless without God's permission. Satan can't just go out and do whatever he pleases. He hates and resents the fact, but God's authority is greater than His. Satan lost the battle before it started, he just doesn't want to believe it. God is love and truth, Satan is hatred and lies. These he attempts to stir up in the hearts of men.

10. I believe that the Holy Spirit is God's power that is seen by humans in the flesh. God is spirit and cannot be seen by fleshly beings. But the Holy spirit is the power which provides evidence that God is doing something. It was because Jesus had the Holy Spirit inside Him from the day He was created that He was able to do all those miraculous things. It is by the Holy Spirit in us as believers that gives us power to trust Jesus completely, the Holy Spirit gives us faith and helps us understand scripture. God's voice, power, and hand is what we call the Holy Spirit. I do not believe that the Holy Spirit is a seperate person from God. The Holy Spirit is a part of God, more specifically, the power of God. I call it God's holy spirit, or the spirit of God to emphasise that.

11. I believe legalism and fundamentalism sprouted from Satan's lies to Christians by the twisting of Scripture. No matter what I do, yesterday, today, and all my tomorrows, I am righteous before God. Jesus died to free me from sin, not in the sense of giving me the ability to be holy as God is holy (Jesus Himself said that no one can do that. The point of God saying that was to prove that we can't, we need His holiness), but so that I might understand that on the cross, all my sins were placed on Jesus, and died there with Him. I am dead to sin, because my sin was crucified with Christ. Before God, I am not a sinner, but I have the works of Christ to replace my filthy rags. Everything is permissable for me, but not all things are profitable. Sin is destructive to me and others. The reason I don't sin is not because God would disapprove (He wouldn't! That sin is not mine, it is Jesus', for He took it on the cross!), but because I realize that it would only hurt me and others if I sinned. God has set up the universe so that certain things naturally happen as a result of sinful behavior (eg. getting drunk makes u have a hangover, being promiscuous could give u aids, etc.). It is actually self-love to refrain from sinning. The less i sin, the happier i am. It has nothing to do with God! Yes, I say that boldly. Me purposely abstaining from sin has nothing to do with God in the sense of pleasing Him. I could never please Him, that's why Jesus did, so I wouldn't have to (and because i couldn't). He is as pleased as He could ever be with me and every other believer! All that matters now is my relationship with Him. Frienship with Him. Conversations with Him. Getting to know Him. Letting His love fill me so that it will splash out on others in abundance. Letting Him mold and change me into who He wants me to be. Trusting in His perfect will. Loving Him with all my heart, mind, soul and strength.

12. I believe that as of this moment my conscience holds me to these statements. However, I also understand that a year ago, this statement of beliefs would have been profoundly different. So I also believe that my beliefs will change and grow as the Lord continues to teach me.
I pray the Lord continues to answer my plea that He would open my mind and heart to the truth, which so very many believers have rejected as a lie.